Picture this, you’re walking down the street and get approached by a group of unsavoury looking individuals who end up roughing you up. You put up a good fight, unfortunately to no avail. At this point, you’re on the floor leaking. Left alone with a fractured collarbone, a broken wrist, and your shattered ego; simply for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Crying a river of tears would be a justifiable conclusion as a result of such a horrific turn of events, no?
See Also: The Toxicity of the “Man Up” Philosophy>>>
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Generally speaking, experiencing some form of extreme pain has been the only time it’s been socially acceptable for a man to cry; even then we’ve been told to “man up”, hold in the tears, and be strong. What we’ve failed to realize is that it’s actually a lot harder to let the tears flow and have the real emotions show in times of need. When the pain starts, internally is where we’re told to store it. That needs to stop.
No More Fear of Tears
Scenario two: You’ve been dating your girlfriend for 3 years and you just found out that she’s been having relations with another man! You’re devastated. Who wouldn’t be? The pain hurts so much it feels like you want to cry. But you can’t. Remember, you’re a man! You call up the boys, just to be consoled with, “forget her bro, focus on that money. She belongs to the streets”. On the surface, this is what you want to hear. But that superficial want only solves the basic need of wanting to be comforted. It doesn’t attack the core source of the pain and does nothing for your long-term healing. It will only add to what will surely be another building block in your tower of trauma.
In both situations, the pain is comparable, and in both situations crying should be acceptable. There are actually physical and mental benefits to crying. According to Healthline, “Researchers have found that crying activates the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS). The PNS helps your body rest and digest. The benefits aren’t immediate, however. It may take several minutes of shedding tears before you feel the soothing effects of crying”.
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Crying may be one of your best mechanisms to self-soothe.
Healthline
It’s Time.
Gentleman, what we need to be able to do is be comfortable with having a good cry. It does not need to consume you, but a broken relationship or the passing of a family member will require some tears. It’s the only way to be able to healthily get through it. What needs to happen is to start addressing the pain as it arises and stop dismissing what is a natural human reaction. It is okay to cry because crying is human. It is manly. We have to stop letting guys on twitter tell us any differently.
