5 Ways to Manage Rejection

Rejection is inevitable. It’s painful and it’s uncomfortable. Neuroscience also tells us it’s activated from the same part of the brain that physical pain registers. The same opioid painkiller that is released by the brain for physical pain is released for the feeling of rejection. It is why most of us do everything possible to avoid it. Whether it’s personal or professional, rejection straight-up sucks. But there are ways to deal with it so here are the 5 methods to manage rejection.

When it comes to personal rejection, you may find yourself being excluded from social engagements, being turned down for a date, or being ghosted online. Professional rejection can come in the form of someone else getting that promotion you were working towards, or not getting the job you thought you were an ideal match for.

Know Your Self-Worth

Confidence is everything. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking “there must be something wrong with me”. But your self-worth shouldn’t be dictated by how others see you or treat you. The real work comes in recognizing that rejection can be an opportunity for self evaluation and growth. There are always two main things to takeaway from every “rejection” scenario:
– is this something I can improve on?
– is this simply something that I have no control over?
There is a lot of value in discovering which one applies to your specific situation.

Don’t Take it Personal

Rejection isn’t (always) personal. Sometimes, it’s a cold-hard fact that “they are just not into you”. And sometimes you just have to accept that and move on. Easier said than done, of course. At the end of the day it’s more about what they don’t want versus what you have to offer. If you can mentally make that flip in the brain then you can take the ‘personal’ aspect out of it. One person’s opinion should never define who you are.

Put Yourself Out There

It’s not always the pain of rejection that’s the problem. Sometimes it’s the worry about what might happen that keeps us paralyzed and afraid. We get so nervous we “reject” ourselves before we even try. Truth is, if you never get rejected, you may be living too far inside your personal comfort zone.

“With great risk comes great reward” … the famous quote that you should (literally) repeat to yourself on a weekly basis. Because you can’t be sure you’re pushing yourself to your limits until you get turned down every now and then. The world will not end because one person made you feel a little less important for one small moment in time.

Choose an A+ Support System

These people are rare, and often hard to find… but they are essential for living a good life. The mental support we receive from our friends is crucial as we get older. You’ve got to be able to trust them (even with those embarrassing, hard-to admit stories). No matter how minor or severe your situation may be, real friends will be there. Take a moment to evaluate your circle. Who has your back? Which ones will drop everything to sit and listen to you when you’re in a weak state of mind? Choose wisely – it’s going to be one of the most important things you ever do.

Keep Going

The moment you experience rejection and decide to push through anyway, you automatically separate yourself from 99% of the people out there who got rejected and chose to quit. There are thousands of opportunities out there, and thousands of reasons to keep trying. With each rejection our skin grows thicker and our energy grows stronger. We all vibrate at different frequencies and inevitably the energy we attract will be different in every scenario. From this perspective, you’ll learn to see that rejection is merely an obstacle to overcome.

Feature image by Noah Silliman