Famous last words.
The hardest thing we can do as men is to try and navigate through this thing we like to call life by ourselves. We have built walls and constantly put adhesive bandages over our wounds because feeling alone is scary. When we don’t have to, we tend to carry this “it’s just me against the world” attitude. Since we are the root of our problems, we have to fix them alone! Besides, no one cares enough to help anyway, right?
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It’s difficult to admit it, but when we need help (emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually), we must become comfortable asking for it. Ignoring that fact doesn’t change anything. Needing a helping hand does not mean that we are weak or inadequate. We can still be the man of the house even if we require help building and/or maintaining it. This constant negative self-talk leads us to feel stranded and alone. There have been many times when one of our brothers asks for assistance, and our response is, “man, you should have come to me sooner!” When this occurs, we reassure them the fact that “whatever you need I got you, whenever.” We have to make sure that when we ask for help, we do it before the stress of the situation overwhelms us.
Ask For Help
Why is it so hard for us to believe that someone is capable of helping us? We like to help others, and whenever one of our brothers asks for any support, we eagerly jump in wherever we can to lend a hand. If it’s so easy for us to help someone else, it only makes sense that when we require help, there will be someone out there willing and wanting to help us out. It starts to get tricky when it comes to swallowing our pride and actually asking. Gentleman, what we can no longer do is continue to associate asking for support with being powerless. Yes, it opens us to be vulnerable, but it won’t leave a chink in one’s armour.
“Vulnerability is not weakness: it’s our most accurate measure of courage.”
Brene Brown
Open Up
Generally, we don’t ask for help because “they don’t know what it’s like,” yet we’re rarely telling anyone what’s bothering us. It’s a toxic revolving door. It will be tough for someone to help us if we don’t tell anyone what’s wrong. It often feels like we are alone, but that generally happens because we don’t let people in. It is impossible to succeed alone. Check-in with your mentor or ask any hero of yours; they always have a long list of people to thank—a list of people who helped them when they needed it the most. Once we can swallow our pride and ask for help, our problems will become less complicated. It’s crazy how many people will be keen to help us once we open up and allow them.
Be strong, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. We are not alone out here, as much as it may seem like it on those cloudy days.