Gent’s Talk Ep. 59: A sit-down w/ sex and relationship expert, Shan Boodram

Welcome to Episode 59 of the Gent’s Talk podcast, where we sat down with Bumble’s sex/relationship expert Shan Boodram. Shan is a sex education counsellor with a B.A. in psychology who has a knack for delivering her extensive knowledge of intimacy in an honest, blunt and hilarious manner. The 2x best-selling author and host of the Lovers and Friends Podcast spoke with us about current trends within Bumble, masturbation, and the power of authentic conversations.

Pandy Love

Our conversation started with relationships that began during the pandemic. Many had to go through the plights of starting/maintaining (or even ending) a relationship while in lockdown. Boodram mentioned that we should treat pandemic relationships similarly to vacation-based relationships or, in extreme cases, reality tv relationships. What they all have in common is a false sense of reality. As time has passed, she noticed that adjusting “back to normal” has been difficult for many couples because they are forced to introduce outside influences that were absent for years. The “it’s just us” mentality quickly fades when couples have to go back to work and when family, parents, and friends enter the equation. “[Couples have] bonded together in an artificial environment that is not reflective of real life” Shan explained, “the relationship is based on a flow/culture that was not consistent with either person’s real life.”

Masturbation

Please listen as Shan Boodram discusses how the sexes differ in pleasuring themselves, and how that plays into the bedroom. She explained that women are often more in tune with their bodies, and men frequently do not see sexual interactions as meaningful unless they are rushing toward orgasm. She suggested men try long masturbation sessions that are explorative. The benefit of an exploratory self-love session is a new appreciation of the body. She recommends taking a moment to really look at yourself. To touch yourself all over, because locating an unexpectedly intense area of the body will be a lovely discovery.

Masculinity

An interesting takeaway from this episode is Boodram’s comparison of the women’s sexual revolution with male vulnerability. She stated that there is a lot of crossover between the two. “Women may feel they’ve cheapened themselves if they give up sex too early,” she described, “while men may feel the same with vulnerability.” Men frequently feel that they will be chastised for it if they become vulnerable too quickly.

Regarding masculinity, Shan doesn’t believe we have to subscribe to a singular unified definition of what a man should be. She stated that we have to decide, “What does masculinity mean to me?” and work within that because we do not have any control over how other people identify us.

Bumble

Shan also announced Bumble’s new campaign, “Kindness is Sexy.” The purpose of this campaign is to promote safe and thoughtful connections. It is built around insights conducted by Bumble that found a large majority of Canadian respondents believe that being kind is more important to them than physical features.

Tune into Episode 59 for the entire conversation with Shan Boodram. She gives us tips to avoid being left on read, and effectively starting a conversation where the intention is, “I’m romantically interested in you.”

About Gent’s Talk

Bulova Canada presents Episode 59 of Gent’s Talk, available for streaming on Youtube, Spotify, Goodpods, iHeartRadio, Apple and Google Podcasts! It is filmed at StartWell Studios in Toronto. You can now catch Season 1 on all Air Canada flights! Your continued support throughout this journey is appreciated. Thank you!