The weather’s hot and the parties are booked with people who are single and ready to mingle! This is the time of the year when “cuffing season” officially ends and “hot boy/girl summer” starts. As summer ramps up, many people are still online looking for love, or in the case of the City Boys/Girls… perhaps just another summer fling. Either way, it’s time to shoot your shot, fellas.
The goal is simple…make it out the DMs. If you find yourself in the dreaded ‘pen pal’ zone, Bumble has released the top signs that can help you spot if the person you’re talking to has intentions of taking it to the next level. Regardless of what that ‘next level’ may mean to you, hopefully, we will start to see a shift back to in-person dating this summer.
Pen-Pal Zone?
You see, everyone signs up to a dating site for a reason except the problem is when the reasons don’t align. Some want love, some a quick hookup, and others wish for some entertaining conversation to pass the time. While profiles are designed to make that distinction, it’s not always so clear. The real difficulty with meeting someone online happens after you swipe right. After the initial hellos, the biggest struggle comes from that much-needed transition from online to “in real life” (IRL) interactions. A pen pal is someone on a dating app who messages you and messages you but never meets up with you in person.
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See Also: Top 5 Dating Trends for 2022 According to Bumble
“Slow dating”
“Slow dating” is when people slow down the “let’s meet up” phase and consciously choose to invest more time in getting to know their potential partner. It’s best to proceed with caution when faced with the unknown. This has become more prevalent than ever with the steady rise in online dating. Based on a survey conducted by Bumble last year, 70% of daters in Canada believed that slow dating could help build healthier relationships. The predicament lies with some needing more time to get comfortable before meeting in person versus not wanting to lose the momentum that’s been built!
“It’s no surprise that people have adapted to new ways of communicating and dating to find and explore meaningful connections throughout the pandemic, but pay attention to red flags! If a person starts love bombing soon after you just started talking, that can indicate that they’re not being genuine. Also, if someone shares nothing about themselves or is unwilling to get into deeper topics, they may not be the one for you.” says Bumble’s Sex and Relationships Expert Shan Boodram.
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The Signs Are There
According to Bumble, these are the top signs that you may be in the pen pal zone:
- You have been talking on the app for weeks, but there’s still no talk of hanging out
- They’re quick to make excuses when it comes to meeting IRL
- They respond sporadically
- They confide in you pretty sincerely very soon
While some online daters believe meeting up IRL is a necessary first step, others may disagree. Not to be confused with slow dating, which is strongly encouraged as the online world can be a terrifying place, the pen pal zone needs to be addressed. There are no rules about how long you should talk to someone before meeting up.
Please, let’s not assume that if they don’t want to meet up in a few weeks, that means they’re not interested. Before treating these signs as gospel, always remember that open communication is of utmost importance. Ask a straight-up question. If they don’t provide a straight-up answer, take a step back. Sometimes all that’s needed is a little time! Be patient, gentlemen; it’s going to be a long and eventful summer.
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Feature image credit Shawn Fields
