How to communicate needs in your relationship

Communication is a key aspect of any healthy relationship and it’s especially important when it comes to discussing changes in your personal needs. Whether it’s due to personal growth, a shift in priorities, or simply a change in circumstances, it’s crucial to have an open, honest conversation with your other half about the evolving dynamic.

Men, if you’re sitting here thinking “my needs are pretty basic, they don’t need discussing” or “my needs don’t really change that much, they’ll just figure it out as the relationship evolves,” stop now. Consider this: sure, maybe your circumstances haven’t provoked a need for a change in your personal needs, but there’s a good chance that if you’re in a long term relationship, they will. Or, maybe your partner’s needs will adjust. Having the conversation has the potential to be uncomfortable but will only result in your relationship moving forward. That’s why these four tips should help you navigate the unfamiliar territory.

Be Clear And Direct

When communicating your change in personal needs, it’s important to be clear and direct with what it is you need and why. Avoid vague statements or beating around the bush as this can lead to misinterpretation. Be clear about your needs and explain why they are important to you.

Use “I” Statements

To avoid coming off as critical or as though you are blaming your partner, use “I” statements when expressing your needs. Framing your needs as “I” statements will help keep the conversation focused on your feelings and needs, as opposed to your partner’s actions or behaviour.

Listen To Your Partner’s Perspective

Relationships are a two-way street and your partner’s perspectives and needs are as equally valid as your own. Make sure to listen to your partner’s perspective about the change you’re proposing. Do your best to understand and work together to find a solution that meets both of your needs.

Be Open To Compromise

Relationships are all about give and take. A willingness to compromise allows the both of you to be open to finding a solution that works for both of you. A change in needs will require adjusting and discussing a compromise may help navigate the gap between where your relationship is and where you would like it to go.

These tips aren’t a fool-proof plan by any means, but starting with an honest conversation can be productive for the short- and long-term health of your relationship with a mutually beneficial outcome.

Feature image by cottonbro studio