For many of us, there are defining moments with our parents that have caused a negative shift in that relationship. While these moments and experiences look different from relationship to relationship, the theme is very much the same. As a result, we develop elements of resentment and bitterness that cause us to disconnect from our caregivers. Regardless of your situation, your parents are humans too, and they carry their own issues, traumas, and societal pressures which likely affected their parenting. Forgiving your parents may not be easy, but with these 4 recommendations you will be on your way to building a more fulfilling life.
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Acknowledge The Pain
Before you embark on a path of forgiveness, it’s essential to acknowledge the pain and emotions associated with your past experiences. By suppressing or denying these feelings you are only hindering the healing process. Instead, reflect on the actions or behaviours that your parent exhibited leading to your resentment. How did they affect you emotionally, mentally, or even physically? By reflecting, you are giving yourself permission to feel raw emotion that could arise throughout the process.
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Practice Empathy
Forgiving your parents doesn’t mean condoning their actions or minimizing your own experiences. Instead, it involves recognizing the reality of their own struggles and limitations while acknowledging the impact of their actions on your life. Empathy allows you to see the world through their eyes and understand that their intentions were not likely malicious, but a result of other circumstances.
Set Boundaries
Forgiving your parents doesn’t mean condoning their toxic behaviors or subjecting yourself to further harm. Setting healthy boundaries is imperative for both your emotional well-being and the long-term health of the relationship. Communicate your boundaries clearly and assertively while also preparing to enforce them when needed. Boundaries help create a space where forgiveness can flourish while safeguarding your mental and emotional health.
Be Patient
Forgiveness is not just about freeing your caregivers of blame, but also encompasses healing yourself too. Take time to develop self-care practices, whether it be journaling, meditation or some other habit that provides the mind and body with solace. Remember, forgiveness is a journey that may likely be accompanied by setbacks and conflicting emotions. Exercise compassion with yourself in order to create a space for forgiveness to develop naturally.
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At the end of the day, our parents are humans too. Embracing forgiveness provides us the opportunity to move forward in our lives with a new approach to the emotional burden that has been associated with the traumas or emotions of your younger selves. More importantly, forgiveness creates a space for growth, well-being and happiness that will transcend into many other areas of your life. There’s no doubt that such a journey will have its challenges. By overcoming those hurdles comes a feeling of liberation and freedom you’ll only wish you could have experienced sooner.
Feature Image By: Cottonbro Studio
